Episode Transcript

Julia Landauer 0:04 Hello, everybody and welcome back to another episode of if I'm honest with Julia Landauer. Today we have someone that I have known for almost seven years and that is Lindsey Simcik. Lindsey is a co founder and co host of the Almost30 podcast, a top 50 podcast and community on a mission to make people feel less alone and truly resource and supported during this transition and beyond. She is also the creator of the sacredness of being single a programming community for those who desire to embrace their single season and become more of who they really are. And she currently finds herself in a new season, which is motherhood. Several months postpartum, every day is different and filled with so much new stuff with her son Maverick. She's feeling stretched and so, so fulfilled. And I'm very, very grateful to have her on the podcast as we have both grown so much over the last almost decade. This conversation was really cool, because it was super fun to catch up after so many years of admiring each other from afar. And we talk about what it's been like building a business and community with her friend Krista and her intentionality with being single and how the work she did on herself has helped in her relationships. And we talked about how she balanced keeping her pregnancy private while also being an influencer and some of the expectations that were on her because she is a public facing person. And we also chat about what it was like for her living in New York, and then LA and then New York again, and so much more. So I hope you enjoy this discussion. Lindsey, welcome to if I'm honest, Lindsey Simcik 1:31 thank you so much for having me. I'm like having a moment. I'm like, when was the last time we were in front of mics together like it's been? Julia Landauer 1:39 It's been ages a lifetime. Yeah. So I think we were talking about it. Like, we were introduced through a mutual mentor friend, I want to say in 2016 2017 around there. And for listeners, I so fondly remember taking an Uber somewhere in LA, I don't remember where you were living, but to your apartment, which was so beautiful and Zen and like filled with light or just like, oh my gosh, this is such a calming place to go record a podcast and we we touched on heavy hitting stuff. And I'll link the my episode with almost 30 in the description here. But it was just so cool. I just I love that time of my life. So it's very cool that you were able to be a part of it. So yeah, thank you for now being on my podcast coming full circle. Lindsey Simcik 2:24 You're so welcome. And how do you feel having a pod? Oh, my Julia Landauer 2:27 goodness, it's a lot of work. I love it. I love it. But I also think what's been so interesting, and you know, we're in season two now. But with season one, kind of the evolution of what I thought I wanted the podcast to be versus what I realized it probably should be. And I thought about, you know, I wanted it to be complementing the keynote speaking I was doing. And so it was slightly heavier topics slightly more in depth, formal focused, and it was really good. But I felt like I didn't always want to listen to that content. And so for me, it was like, Okay, well, what do I want to listen to more conversational more day to day things that we're tackling? So that's what this season is about with also adding in the guest episodes. But yeah, it's, I knew it would be a lot of work. But I continue to be shocked as to like, all these different things, you have to think about, like pot, like cover art, or learning how to edit. And I don't know if you felt this, but even learning how to speak into the mic in a different way so that it's easier to edit yourself. Exactly. Lindsey Simcik 3:30 There's so much there's so many technical things that can go wrong in every recording. And I think the first six months, especially, it was just a lot of experimentation, a lot of mistakes, a lot of Yeah, moments where I'm like, Ah, I'll never do that, again, like kind of moments that really were ingrained in my brain and now have become just natural habit. And so, you know, I always tell podcasters, I'm like, Yo, don't expect the beginning to be great, right? Like, it's gonna feel good, because you're in your flow, and you're doing what you love. But you'll look back and be like, Whoa, I've come so far. And that's the point. You know, we don't want to like start at the gate. Perfect, then where do you go from there? So, yeah, there's a lot of learning in that first year. Julia Landauer 4:15 Totally. So for listeners, can you explain a little more about almost30 And then also, like, you know, kind of what you thought it was going in, if it did evolve a little bit more and obviously, it's, you know, such a powerhouse community and platform now. Yeah, Lindsey Simcik 4:30 so, my best friend and I Krista Williams, we started almost30 About seven years ago in September 2016. And it was born out of a time when both she and I were just yeah, like, honestly, shit was hitting the fan in her life in so many different ways for her I think her health was really compromised hormonally. She was super imbalanced and her energy was super low. Oh, oh, she was in between jobs trying to make a blogging career work and struggling to pay her bills. I was coming out of a long term relationship that I had blown up. I had just moved across the country. I, I was also struggling financially, like it was just a time where we're like, Yo, like, what's going on? Shouldn't we have this whole life thing, like a bit more figured out? And so we became friends during that time, and our conversations kind of centered around all of these issues. And we're like, wow, okay, we feel better, because we're not alone. There's someone else going through things. And Krista came to me one day, and she's like, do you think we could start a podcast, you know, like, we're I love podcasts, I feel like we're talking anyway, all the time. Like, I really feel like there's people out there that can relate and it would be helpful. And I'm always down to, like, do any creative project no matter what the reward is, or lack thereof. So I was like, Yeah, let's do it. I, like busted out my $15 recorder, we went into her closet in her studio apartment in Venice, for the like bedroom in my apartment that I was sharing with a couple other people. And we would record and it was not perfect, most of those episodes or conversations would never see the light of day. But we started to understand that feeling that feeling of being in flow of being on purpose of feeling really connected to what we were sharing and connected to each other. So we just kept going. And then finally we're like, let's just put it out. Let's see what happens. So in September 2016, we did that. And slowly but surely, like the community formed, definitely started with friends and family. But then it grew really organically. And, yeah, seven years later, I mean, it's a full blown community all over the world. We have the podcasts, the membership, courses and programs, we've gone on tour around the world, we have retreats. So it's yeah, it's a it's a really special special creation between us. And honestly, between me and Krista. Yes, but also between us and everyone that finds almost 30. You know, it's a collaborative thing to keep it going. And now we're working on our book, which hopefully will be like a legacy piece, you know, and ensure that almost 30 lives on, Julia Landauer 7:33 there's that really tangible component of the of a book. And that's so exciting. And we'll talk about that more in a bit. But going back to starting the podcast, and you and Krista were friends before you started, obviously. So what was it like building this platform brand business with your friend? Is it something that like went smoothly? Most of the time? Are there hurdles that you didn't expect? Like, what's that? Like? Lindsey Simcik 7:57 Yeah, it's such a great question. We get this a lot, because I think a lot of people out there see us and or other duos, who are friends or business partners and think, oh, I want to start a business with my best friend. Like that would be so fun, right? Yes, there are fun moments, but it becomes incredibly complex. It's like a marriage because you are sharing finances, you are collaborating on, you know, the day to day of running a business of managing a team now of yeah, it's just, it can be, it can be complicated. And so Kristin and I, you know, seven years in are in such a great grounded place with how we communicate, what's important to us, how we support each other, the space, we give each other, how each other leads, you know, in different areas of the business. But getting there was a journey. I'll just give you a high level of what that takes, I believe, is both of us being an individual therapy consistently. i Yeah, I'm a big believer in therapy. And it's I think the secret sauce. If you want to be professionally successful, I do think you need someone to talk to whether it's a therapist, a coach, someone to Yes, spill it, and also have a mirror put up in front of you. So that's been really important. We we've had coaches for the both of us together, which has been very, very integral, especially during times of change, whether it's like me moving across the country and having to figure out the business with each of us on on either coast or 2020. It was an interesting year, and thank God we had a coach during that time. So that's been super important. Weekly check ins, you know, weekly check ins both personally, where it's like, Yo, BFF, what's up in your life? And then also the business check in, right? Where we can kind of create a line. Otherwise it gets a little gray. You know, it's like, what are we talking about? What's the energy? And then also, I think it's really important to be okay. Getting very specific about your roles, you know, because I think out the gate Kristin and I, me specifically, I felt like well, I'm not good at this, but let me help her do the business finances and of this, like, I feel bad that she's doing it. Let me just help her and like, that's not efficient. What are you gonna that lens? Like? What lights you up? How about you do the podcast production side while she does the business and in the partnerships, right? So it's really it's it's delegating it is getting very honest and clear about what you're good at what lights you up. And just committing to communication along the way, it's not easy to have hard conversations, but we have them. I would say on a quarterly basis. Now we're like, we need to clear some stuff. Yeah, in the air. And it's really healthy. And I feel really good and less anxious around them now, because we've had so many of them. Julia Landauer 11:25 That's so I just love hearing that. Because I also think like, as you said, it's kind of like a marriage. And I wonder did did having to sort out working with Krista like this this personal relationship in his professional setting? Did it then kind of help guide you in your marriage after that? Like is that is like, do you think that you kind of had better footing going into initially the relationship and then marriage? Because of all that work? You did with Krista? Yeah. Lindsey Simcik 11:55 I've never thought about it. And I love that question. It's absolutely, it's absolutely helped me to really step into my marriage. And I think, on my part in what I'm bringing to the marriage be responsible for my experience, it's helped me to be a better listener, it's helped me to communicate more clearly. I would say, though, that like, my husband, teaches me so much in that sense, like he's just such a, his communication skills, I think, are really good, like, just very direct, clear, grounded, truthful, from his heart. And he's taught me a lot about just that. And I think I was someone who would hold back my truth, because I was worried about how it make other people feel. And so he's been super integral and like, opening that part of me that's able to just express always working on it, but it's definitely gotten better. But yeah, I mean, the relationship with Krista and the relationship with Sean has definitely worked in a parallel fashion. And I learned about both from both. Julia Landauer 13:07 It's so cool. Lindsey Simcik 13:08 It's so cool. And it's like a, you know, I think, and people can think about this for themselves, like, who are the relation? Which relationships in your life serve as a model for the other relationships that you have? Or want to have? And how do you tend to them? And how do you get really specific about like, wow, like, it's this, these aspects of this relationship that I love, that make me feel safe, that made me feel secure, that makes me feel competent, that make me feel loved and supported? And how can I bring that to my other relationships? You know, that matter to me? Because sometimes, you know, I've definitely brought skills that I've nurtured and cultivated with Krista and Shawn into my family dynamics, where are now I'm communicating a bit more clearly with my family, you know, and taking space when I need space, which is like an important thing that I know, for myself, I need some times when I need to, like just be in my own energy. So yeah, I think it's an important reflection for people to have if they want to have really meaningful relationships. Julia Landauer 14:19 Yeah, I love that of kind of picking and choosing which relationships you admire in your life and then applying that to others, especially because, you know, I think, especially with romantic relationships, and even with friends and siblings and family and everything, like not every relationship is going to serve every need that you have in life. And I think recognizing that is doing a service to yourself, but also to the people that you love, because you're not like expecting unrealistic things from them because no one person can serve every purpose. And so yeah, taking that intentionality which even goes back to I liked what you said when you were describing almost 30 about how you learn to do things with purpose and to be living with purpose and I feel like that then just trickles out into everything that you touch. And I love that intentionality, which I think obviously you get more comfortable with as you go get older. And I've personally found growing up and getting older, so liberating, especially going from 20s, which are trying time great for self discovery. But I personally found that I was particularly susceptible to external pressures or expectations. And I consider myself a more or less recovering people pleaser, and like having all those things that we're trying to do, right. And for other people, I find as I get older, that that kind of trickles away a little bit, and I don't know if you've had the same experience, or if kind of working through everything with almost 30 helped you get there. But I think that's such a relatable thing to talk about. Lindsey Simcik 15:53 Yes, yes. Yeah, I mean, the people pleasing thing is I think I, even though I want to say that I've overcome it, I still deal with it, you know, Julia Landauer 16:06 I don't think I'll ever overcome it four ways. Lindsey Simcik 16:10 And I think each season of your life presents another, another opportunity to shed that part of me, you know, and I think motherhood is the season that I'm in now. And it's like, you there is very little room to please other people over doing what's best for you, your baby and your family. And that's become really clear. And even though it's really clear in the moments that I actually need to do what I say and act on it, I noticed that I'm like, I don't know what to say, and, or my nervous system responds. And I'm like, Oh, this is hard. So I've just really had to show myself a lot of grace, because the people pleaser within us. And within anyone else out there listening, served a purpose, you know, and so I'm, like, really thankful for that part of me. Because the people pleaser needed to create balance, perhaps in the home, maybe parents were fighting, and the child wanted, you know, approval and wanted to create harmony in the home, and they just wanted to please everyone, right? Like, there are aspects to that that served a purpose. And honestly, it just makes sense to me, you know, why I have those tendencies. And I also think, you know, as an adult, it's, it's a beautiful thing to be perceiving or not perceiving to be picking up on subtle energies. And I think people pleasing is kind of what comes from that where you're like, when picking up that this person is uncomfortable. Yeah, this person, you know, is nervous, doesn't know what to say, or fill in the blank. And the people pleaser in me is like, Okay, let me abandoned my needs right now. And let me see what they need. And I don't think that's inherently wrong, right? Like, it has really good intention. But I think the place that I would love to get to, is a more neutral place where I am recognizing both I am honoring my needs and my desires. And also, if appropriate, bringing in or calling to attention, the needs of others. And maybe having a more conscious conversation about it. You know, rather than dropping all of my needs and tending to another, it's calling them into conversation, where it's like, I'm picking up that maybe you're feeling a little nervous, like, Tell me more. I'm like, I'm here to talk if you want rather than over functioning for this person. Julia Landauer 19:07 That's a really incredible way to phrase it. And I also when you were speaking, I was wondering, anecdotally, do you find that people who kind of identify as people pleasers also lean on the more empathetic side, and I'm wondering if that like, I must play hand in hand a certain amount. But I kind of wonder if that's because you're talking about that sensitivity to people's energy. And it's like it to feel like oh my gosh, I can tell when someone's just a little off, especially a loved one. And I kind of liked that idea of it's not necessarily people pleasing in the kind of negative connotation that I so rarely associate with, but rather that empathetic attention and sensitivity, which is really powerful when building relationships or helping people through things. Lindsey Simcik 19:53 I agree with that. I definitely think there's a tendency to be a bit more empathetic generally And then I think there is also a healthy, a healthy way to have empathy and allow people to have their own experience. Because, you know, if we pull up even more, you know, it's from a soul perspective, like, everyone is having the experience that they're meant to have. And so for me to interject, and try to prohibit the person from having the experience, because I'm uncomfortable, and maybe they're uncomfortable too, but because I'm uncomfortable with what they might be feeling is actually not serving them. So that's helped me as a people pleaser, where I'm like, Hmm. You know, I could say this thing that would make my dad feel so much better and more at ease and whatever, but that would be abandoning myself. Instead, I'm gonna let him be in his experience. Drop the need to manage it. And see where Julia Landauer 21:08 we go. Yeah, and I noticed Yeah, sorry, keep going. Yeah, Lindsey Simcik 21:11 no, I mean, it's just because then, then that opens up the potential for growth on his end, potentially, it might not happen. But if we're always going to interject, and like, perpetuate this loop of protecting them. It's, nothing's gonna happen. Nothing's gonna change. Julia Landauer 21:31 It's so interesting. You say that, because that was also just reminded me of parenting. And I'm not a parent yet. I hope you'd be one day. But it reminds me of when I was at school, I came across a study where researchers asked mothers to set a ramp, however steep they thought their infant could crawl up. And mothers set the ramp steeper for boys, and they do for girls. And so and some of the anecdotal responses are that it's like an effort to protect and shelter the girls. But I always get so angry when I think about that, because it's like, we need to let everyone grow, find their limits, push themselves and you know, learn how to pick themselves back up if they fallen down. But I never thought about it in terms of like an energy in the room with people when they need on a more emotional, less physical side. So Oh, my goodness, my mind is blown and expanded, oh, my goodness, I love that. It's Lindsey Simcik 22:20 important, you know, and I think I've done that with Krista. I've done that with Shawn, where I'm like, I'm gonna let them be in their experience. I'll be over here in mine. And we'll meet at some point, you know, and it's, it's actually made my relationships healthier. Julia Landauer 22:37 That's so powerful. Well, guys, we're gonna take a quick break, but then we'll come back Lindsey Simcik, if I'm honest. We're back on if I'm honest with Lindsey since then, so I would love to hear more about another venture that you've you've gone on, which is the sacredness of being single. Can you tell us what that encompasses? What made you want to dive in, you know, full force to that? Yeah, Lindsey Simcik 23:06 so the sacredness of being single was something that I created. In the wake of my single season, which was seven years long, it was, I don't even know, when I was 25 to 32, I would say And, granted, I dated in between, then, you know, in between that time, but I was not in like a long term relationship during that time. So for most of those seven years, I was trying to get out of it. I was like, this sucks. I'm meant to be in a partnership. I meant to buy my person, my soulmate, my other half my this, my that. And I would spend so much time and energy, looking for that person, whether it was on the apps, I would go to the grocery store and feel like I was going to meet him and just be so consumed, you know, by this idea that I will be happy I will be complete when I meet this person. And I remember it really vividly like there was a night where a Friday night in LA and didn't have any plans, but you know, that feeling where you're like, hopefully someone asks me to do something and I'm just gonna wait in anticipation not take any action on my own. But hopefully someone will ask me to do something and then they never do and then you're left alone at night and you're kind of pissed, kind of depressed, and you're like, What is my life? And it was one of those nights and I got really emotional. And I just had this like, instant understanding and knowing that like, oh my god, like I've been looking at this all wrong, like, it's actually part of the purpose of this particular season in my life to like, come back to myself. And I love being with myself and appreciate myself so that when I do enter into a relationship, I'm able to ask for what I want, I'm able to connect from a place of authenticity, rather than just trying to be with the other person needs like to know thyself is like so important in an intimate relationship. So that that just came through immediately. And so I had like, I turned into like a spa night where I like, did a face masks, I washed my favorite show, and I cooked myself dinner, it was like the best night ever. And I'm like, Whoa, this is interesting. So I started taking myself on date on dates, I would go out to dinner by myself, which is like such a intimidating thing to do at first, and it becomes so fun. You can go to like your favorite restaurants that have the bar. You can make friends with people at the bar, you can make friends with bartender, have your dinner. And just like being your own energy, and it's actually such a power move, I highly recommend it to anybody. Julia Landauer 26:04 may I interject real quick, with the going to dinner by yourself, did you find that you felt more confident sitting at the bar versus a table because I instantly felt like I felt like I was a power woman like even if I'm, you know, in a relationship or whatever, but just going to dinner by myself. It feels empowering to just like, sit up high above the bar. Lindsey Simcik 26:24 And I think so I think it's just a, you know, it might be like a societal thing where like, if you're sitting alone at a table, you know, the whole rooms gonna be wondering, is she waiting for someone? Like what's happening? So I think the bar is like more of like, a socially acceptable place to like, have dinner by yourself. Not that that's what you should do. Because of that reason. I've done both. I've sat at a table by myself. And I've done a ton of like bar dinners. I say do what makes you feel the most comfortable. If sitting at a table makes you feel really anxious. You're not gonna have a good time. So do what makes you feel more comfortable. Yeah, I think I think it's a practice that right now, it's hard to do in this season of being a mom. But I continued it like after, after Shawn and I got back together got together officially, I continued to like take myself out on dates, I would go on solo trips. Like, it's just really important to come back to your own energy. Because in relationship, you're definitely like dipping into each other's all the time. So you just kind of have to recenter on a regular base basis. Julia Landauer 27:34 I love that. I love that. So do you have a favorite place that you've taken a solo trip? Oh, yeah. Lindsey Simcik 27:41 I took a trip to Palm Springs. I forget what year it was. But it was just the best. Like I stayed at this place called Karachi Kia. And they just have like, the most interesting room situation. It's like super small, but each room is different. And I stayed in like the Artist's Loft or something. And it just felt so magical. Like there was a cat that would come visit me every day, I would sit by the pool and read I would nap I would write I would go into town have dinner by myself, I I would. Yeah, just be in my presence. And it was really, really nice, highly recommend. That's amazing. Julia Landauer 28:22 And so through the sacredness of being single, you're kind of helping to, with these kinds of tips of helping people to embrace that. And also, I've, like, learned so much about yourself, I'm sure, Lindsey Simcik 28:32 yeah, cuz I meet a lot of women who are in this season. They know I've been there. And so I created this program. Basically, it's a self study program. But we meet once a month in like a sacredness circle, where we connect. And I just found that it's so necessary to like, first of all, reframe this season that you're in, to be here for it and present for it. Because it is here for a purpose. And to also know that you're not alone, I think is really important in any, like, transformational season. But we walk through everything from like, recognizing the fears that you have around being single, the shoulds that you impose every day I should be married by this age, because you know, we really deconstruct this whole. Yeah, this whole belief system that we've created around being in a relationship versus not. And then we really put into practice like yes, going on solo dates and why that's important. What is Dating Yourself mean? We talk about manifestation and just how like this particular energy of coming back to yourself actually creates the opening for someone to come in. Creates like such a magical magical Portal. And then it's just like a fun I have on there like How to Date differently. You know, I give like little pep talks, I've audio pep talks on there and meditations and just waste to really reframe the dating too, because I think a lot of us feel like, dating sucks. No good people out there, what's going on the debt, the apps are stupid. Sure, that could be an experience. And like, let's take back the power. This is like, you're so much more powerful than like letting this experience happen to you. So yeah, the program is something I just love and hope that it continues to help women in this season. And the point is not to always be single, because people are like, Oh, my God, like, I'm afraid if I say yes to this program, like, that means that that I'll be single for a long time, it's like, no, I have women in there who just met their person, and they want to remain just really true to themselves. So this program has helped them so it's for it's for truly anyone. Julia Landauer 31:04 Well, and I also, like, you've mentioned this a little bit, but it's so important to be as in tune with yourself, and I don't want a conflict, cuz that's, like you're constantly building that even as confident people. But you know, it's a disservice, I think, not only to yourself, but to your partner, if you're not being your authentic self, or at least trying and working towards that, because I think, inevitably, as you get older, you're gonna inch more and more towards that. And so then there might be like, some divides there. I'm not saying it's any one person's fault or anything, but people change. And I think the earlier we can be vocal and lean into that, which communication is so hard, but I love that that's kind of the emphasis and like any journey, any path will help help you get there. And I think that's really a service to each person involved in that relationship. Lindsey Simcik 31:58 Totally, totally. Julia Landauer 32:00 If you're, if you're comfortable sharing was there one thing from when you were working on yourself, and the sacredness of being single, that was really an aha moment or eye opening or something, you were really proud of yourself, or just something that like, you look back on that period like this is one of my takeaways. Yeah, Lindsey Simcik 32:18 I think what stands out to me is when I started to date, again, after taking a break, which I think first, taking a break is really healthy. Taking a break from dating and being on the apps is super healthy. And so when I kind of returned, and or was open again to dating, I didn't go into every date, looking for the thing that would confirm for me, this was my person, right? Like, I didn't go in looking for all the things on my list. I just went in, really excited to meet a new person. And I went in really kind of blown away that another person was brave enough to do that. And so with that, with that perspective, and curiosity, and just honoring, I had so much more fun, I attracted a type of person that was closer and closer to the person I was going to be with. And I could note that as like, wow, I really loved how he listened to me, it was so if I felt so safe, I felt so good. I really loved how he took the lead and planned this whole date, and just told me to show up, I really loved you know, whatever it was. And I just made a point to reflect on what I really, really loved about the experience, and was so grateful for each one because it taught me something or showed me something that was possible. And as I began to do that, like, again, I got closer and closer. I was like, Whoa, this is crazy. Like it really does work when you stop settling for less than you deserve. The Universe answers the universe like Ah, she gets it. Okay, here we go next level. So that when my now husband came back into my life, there was 0% doubt about the person sitting in front of me. I was like, wow, it's crazy, because he's the person I'm supposed to be with. Yeah, how did I not see this before? You know, I had to kind of work through some stuff. But it was so clear because I had committed to myself throughout this dating process in the single season. Like, I am going to listen to my heart, I'm going to trust my intuition. I'm going to come back to myself not abandon myself anymore. And when you do that, you're able to feel more clearly what is for you. Julia Landauer 34:57 Yeah, so you mentioned when he came back to Your Life. So did you guys meet and then kind of not date not to each other and then come back? Lindsey Simcik 35:07 Yeah, it was a dance. We met like, over 10 years ago, I was in the bar business. I was a bobble girl. And police called bounce in New York City. I'm sure people no it. It's, it was a time in my life. It was fun, though. It was actually really fun. He was someone who will come in with his guy friends to watch football and yatta yatta yatta. And I would always see him and I, he's, he's very memorable. He you don't really miss him. He's, he was always so one, like very social, like just a light, you know, like, he just lit up a room. And I also remembered him because he didn't really drink that much. You know, he would like order a Corona. But then he'd be like, Can I have a pineapple and sprite? And I'm, like, interesting at the time, I thought, Oh, my God, what a loser. What a loser is not drinking at a bar. Like what's happening. That was also a time where I was drinking more, right. And now it's like one of my favorite things. I'm like, yeah, we can have a glass of wine. But like, we don't freaking throw back and get wasted together. Like it's so nice to. Now I appreciate it. All the things that I thought were like about him are now things I love the most about him. It's kind of crazy. And it just tells me how much I've grown. But basically, he came back, we remained friends after sort of dating. We weren't officially dating, but we would go out on dates. And I always kept them at arm's length. I'm like, no, no, no, we can't do this. And the truth is, he was just so clear about like his intentions. He's like, I would love to date you. I'd love to get to know you. And I'm like, Ooh, what's that? I need you to have no time for me and challenge me mind games. Yeah, please play mind games with me. So I kept them at arm's length. And then I was on tour in New York for the podcast in 2019. And he reached out saying, like, Oh, I saw that you're in New York. I'm sorry, I missed you. Like we'd love to catch up at some point, like, hope you're well. And I was like, I'm actually still here. Do you want to grab dinner? You know? So he grabbed dinner. And that was that. That was something I just knew? Well, Julia Landauer 37:15 and it's so cool with timing, because like it very well could have been the case that had you jumped in and started dating more seriously, when you initially met each other that it might not have worked out right? Lindsey Simcik 37:26 Like, oh, yeah, well, that would not have worked out if Julia Landauer 37:29 I had met my husband in college, or probably shortly after college, there's no chance that we would be together. And so I think it's really special to think of kind of the magic of the universe that's involved in that and like making sure that you kept him at arm's distance. And maybe that's a little woowoo for some people, but I, I really liked that idea that like things happen for a reason. And even if you don't understand it, and it worked out in the end, Lindsey Simcik 37:57 it didn't work out. No, it absolutely works out. You have to kind of trust the movement in your life. You know, I think people get so tripped up when things don't go according to their plan. You know, and it's, it's just so much more fun to trust Julia Landauer 38:11 a man. After that it is so much more fun to trust. Well, we're gonna take another quick break, but then we'll come back with Lindsey. We are back with Lindsey. And I have two more things I want to talk about before we get into the rapid fire if you're honest. So real quick, I met you when you were in the LA season of your life. And I loved visiting la I've always enjoyed it. But I'm also I'm from New York City. So I eventually want to get back there. How? How are you liking comparing la versus New York? Like what's what are some high level things about that change? Lindsey Simcik 38:55 Yeah, it's I get this question a lot in the DMs. Because I think people are contemplating moves and you know, wanting to be in these like, really incredible cities at some point in their life. I'm from the East Coast as well. I grew up in Pennsylvania, but I grew up coming to New York. So it's like, sort of it's familiar to me and feels like home. And so when I after college, six months after college, I moved to New York and I was here for probably close to three years before moving to LA for seven years. And at different points in my life. I thought I was going to be in either one of these places forever. I thought, oh, New York or I'll do everything in New York. I'll raise my kids in New York, I'll be successful in New York other things. Then I was brought out to LA and I was like, oh, LA is the shit. This is where I'm gonna be. And both in both of those places, they were amazing until they weren't right. So for my first stint in New York, I was I was trying to survive and pay my bills like it was struggle bus City and yeah, I love that girl she just did the most. And it was a time when I'm went out to LA not that I was living the high life, but I felt like I could breathe, you know, and it was definitely a place where I feel like spiritually, I woke up, I woke up in a lot of ways in LA, and obviously started almost 30. And so the things I love about LA, the nature, the community, like the access to different environments, the beach, the desert, the mountains, all these things like was so nourishing, the access to really healthy food on the regular, like, that's something that's really important to me sunshine, most days of the year, besides like June Gloom was awesome, and warmth. So I really loved it for that. I think for me, personally, I was there for seven years, it felt like a full cycle. So I would say to people listening, you might be in a place where you're kind of itching to get out. And maybe you've just like spent a full cycle in this place. You know, it's served you in so many different ways. And yeah, maybe it is to move, ready to move on. Or maybe you're not ready to leave. But maybe you're ready to like change, change where you live, maybe it's a different neighborhood, maybe it's a different type of home apartment environment. I think for me, I knew it was time to leave la after, after 2020. For me, it got funky in LA, the energy changed. And that was kind of my cue, as well as wanting to be with my husband, who is from New York, lived in New York. And I was just ready, I'm like, I'm ready to move in together, let's do this thing. And I was ready to come home. Yeah, that makes sense. And my family's here, most of my family. And I was just like at that point where like, I had built so much in LA with Krista and like, and I was just like, Yep, it feels good to come back, to plant my roots to be with my soon to be husband and just kind of start that chapter. So I would say there's pros and cons to both places, people just have to get clear about what's important to them. Yeah, you know, is it important to you to be in a city and to have the conveniences and the ability to walk around everywhere? Is it important to you to have peace and quiet nature? at the ready? Is it important to you to be close to family? Do you not care, like, Get really clear, and I think just writing these things down is an important part of the reflection. Because there might be a time in my life, you know, in a few years where Sean and I are like, kind of want a yard kind of want more space, right? We want you know, XYZ, so I'll have to like make that list again, and be like what's important to us what matters, and I think it'll change with every season. I Julia Landauer 42:49 like your your description of it being a cycle. And I think especially speaking as a millennial, where it's like, my parents put down roots, and I think a lot of our parents, like we're in one place for a long time. That's what we're used to. And just the nature of how to live in the world in this day. And age is slightly different. And so not being afraid of realizing that you need some change, even though it's a pain in the ass to move. It's a pain in the ass to it's scary to establish in a new place. But okay, I love that. And now you have a baby in New York, which I just think is such a romantic thing. Like, it's so it's so wonderful. So I did for the listeners. So Lindsey was kind of sneaky in the best way possible with how she went around, you know, being pregnant and having her kid and how it translated on social media. So Lindsay, can you share what you did how you thought about it, because I just think it was really powerful. And I was just like, Damn, that is so cool way to go about protecting your space and also being a public figure, because you've got a lot of followers who expect content from you. Yeah, Lindsey Simcik 43:54 I really appreciate that. It was definitely a conscious decision. Both my decision and my husband and I were on the same page. And he and I talked about it like early on because I wasn't like super clear from the beginning. But I think like our conversations kind of solidified for me my intuition in sharing, and we both just decided like, this is only going to happen for the first time once you know like, I don't know how I'll be with if I have a second child like I don't know how I'll be. But for this first time, oh my gosh, I just I wanted to be in my own experience and not feel the pressure to share about it in real time to support other people through it in real time. Like, right I just I needed to be fully in my experience and fully present for what was happening like first trimester is no joke. You don't feel good. Like you are nauseous. You are exhausted like it's different every day for most people. And so to think about like, giving more energy outward to others People and on social media just felt like so not aligned, and wasn't serving the creative energy needed to, like, nurture this baby that was growing. And then there's the piece of just privacy, you know, my husband's really private. I'm not as private, obviously, because I have public facing platform, I share quite a bit on the podcast and on social media. But I've definitely gotten more private over the years, like if you knew me, you know, five, six years ago, I'm sharing a lot more. And it just feels good to kind of keep things that are really important to me close, at least for the time when they're happening, I can always come back and reflect on things, which is what I decided to do with the pregnancy. So I announced, I was, I found out New Year's Eve, of last year, and I kept it off of social media until end of July, which was a long time. And then I had him I had him a month later. So it was really nice to not have to, yeah, just be out there and public facing. I think it's an energetic thing, too. And then I just told my audience and they get it, right, they kind of know me by now they're like, she's probably going to do this differently than what we expect. So I was like, I want to be in conversation with you guys. Like I do want to share about my experience, but it's going to be after the baby's here. So that's kind of what I've done slowly, but surely is like, share some of my pregnancy experience, but also share in real time, being a mom and I feel good about that. The only thing that I'm not doing is showing the baby space. I feel like you know, people should do what's best for them. They want to show their baby, the show your baby, you don't want to show your baby, don't show your baby, there should be no discussion. It just feels good to us. And candidly, I'm just figuring out as I go, Yeah, no, because I know, I think what I do most consistently as I do and share what feels good. If it doesn't I don't do it. Yeah. Julia Landauer 47:15 Yeah. No, that's it's just it seems so healthy. And I remember because I knew a little bit behind the scenes. And so watching it unfold on on social media is like, you know, because it was like, six or eight weeks after you had had him that you kind of announced I was like, Yes, this is great. She is protecting her space, she just gets to do her. And, like especially, I mean, I can only imagine like, emotionally physically, like, the pressure to put it out there. Especially because again, like you're, you're like the energy that I feel from your social media is just so comforting in there for people and I think that's really special, but I'm sure that can be heavy at times to deal with and it you know, puts the puts pressure on you in a way that you probably don't want while welcome files into the world and doing that. Exactly. Lindsey Simcik 48:03 Yeah, I think it's partly that and I also think candidly like not sharing in real time during my pregnancy, for example. And this is like very BTS of like, quote influencer life, I could have made a lot of money. Very honest. And not that I need a medal for not doing that. But like, that was a conscious choice where I'm like, Julia Landauer 48:31 okay, but that's a fiscal decision you're making. Yeah, it has almost a negative consequences, but just less money than 100%. Lindsey Simcik 48:38 So, you know, I understand that's not the reason why a lot of people announce early. But there's also that piece of it when you're public facing and also working with brands, and I just didn't want to and this is literally just for me zero shade to other people. It's more so I didn't want to commoditize is that a word commoditize like my child before he was here. And also, I just wanted energetically to it to feel clean. And saying with now that he's here, you know, I don't ever want to I and I navigate this like on a daily basis. So I have to be discerning but like, I don't ever want to use him as like the prop to sell a thing. I get that 100% You know, it could be the motherhood lifestyle, and there could be things that I share that I really use or I like or whatever. But yeah, it's a fine line. It's Julia Landauer 49:33 a fine line. And there's no right way to do anything that might be some wrong ways. But there's no there's no right way to do it. And it's so personal, but I tend to align with you on kind of a lot of the ways that you've been approaching and it's just you got to do what feels right and what feels safe and all of that. So super cool. Super cool. Okay, I want to be respectful of your time. And so real quick, can you give a snapshot of your work that will be coming out in the future. Yes. Lindsey Simcik 50:03 So we're writing our book. Now. We're about to hand in the first draft, it's going to come out, I think, q2 2025. So it'll be a minute, but it'll be worth it. It is a guide, really a guide, written by Kristin and I to navigate your transition from your 20s to your 30s. Though, you know, as we all know, I think this is really a guide for your 20s to 30s. And beyond, we're going to navigate different transitional seasons changes in our life, and how do we navigate change? You know, how do we, how do we really use it as an opportunity to transform our relationships, our career, our health, etc. So we're looking at this transition from your 20s, to your 30s, through the lens of your Saturn Return, which is an astrological event that all of us go through in your late 20s or early 30s That really urges you to get serious about what's aligned and what's not. And you might have a big life event that happens, perhaps, maybe you move across the country, maybe you get a divorce, maybe you change careers. And there's usually one of those that kind of then bleeds into every other area of your life and inspires you to take better action, so that you are more aligned, healthier and more connected. So that you really like love your life more. So the book is a guide through that. And we share anecdotally we share from guests on our podcast, to kind of put this whole guide together. It's fun, it is thick, it is, I hope going to be really helpful for generations of almost 30 years to come. For years and years. Julia Landauer 51:50 I'm so excited. I'm so excited to read it and to use it and to share it because yeah, I mean, I love I love everything that you guys cover. And that's just such a nice way to go about that kind of helpful guide. So we will be sure to share it all right to end we're gonna end on a rapid fire if you're honest. So Lindsey, what is your favorite wellness practice? Ooh, Lindsey Simcik 52:12 taking walks and hydrating, it's very simple. I've found that being in this space like we overcomplicate things, and I love a complicated wellness routine. But if I'm walking every day, and I'm hydrating properly every day, I'm feeling really good mentally and physically. Amazing. Julia Landauer 52:29 I'm also a hydration queen as well make fun of me. And it means I have to go to the bathroom a lot in my office, which is awkward, but that's it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What is one technological tool that Lindsey Simcik 52:40 you love. Oh, good one technological tool that I love. Oh, goodness. I mean, I think it's kind of amazing. I'm like such a millennial. I'm like, it's so cool that we can like stream Netflix. It just like kind of agreed. I kind of like it, where I can go and like watch a documentary. If I want to watch a documentary I can watch stupid Kardashians, if I want to watch different Kardashian episodes. Like, I don't know I love sometimes I love a little just TV couch moment, Julia Landauer 53:14 a streaming service, or streaming service baby. Love that. Okay, what is a goal for you in the upcoming year? Lindsey Simcik 53:22 I want to be so crystal clear about my priorities. It's important to me what my true goals are. And not worry about how it will ruffle feathers, change my relationships disappoint or make other people feel this type of way. Like I really just want to be so so clear, both in my personal and professional life. And I think, you know, my son inspires that, you know, my husband inspires that where it's like, what am I doing? If I'm not being honest with myself and doing what I desire? And what fills me up? What am I doing? Like what example in my setting, I really want to practice that this upcoming year. And that might look like hey, maybe I'm working two or three days a week. And the other days I am fully mom mode. Probably mama those other days but like fully fully. So just thinking about that more and more. Julia Landauer 54:25 I love that. I'm gonna do that too. Adding that to my list. Priorites. Last, if you're honest, what is something that you're grateful for right now? Oh, Lindsey Simcik 54:33 so I'm grateful for so many things. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to write a book. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to become a mother. I'm grateful that I have my health. I'm grateful that I have a husband who is like my number one cheerleader and support system like it's just I could go on and on. I really am feeling so blessed. And I think that's like I love this question. We hear it all the time. But are we really going ham on our gratitudes on a regular basis because like even just saying that out loud right now I'm like, like, this feels so good. It feels good to remind yourself of what you have, and what is good. And we Yes, we can strive to get the next thing. And we can also strive to, to or focus on what we don't have, but I don't know. It feels better to be grateful for what you got. Julia Landauer 55:31 Totally and especially when there's so much negativity in the world. I think that can be very draining and very heavy for us. Yeah, because of where we are in relation to it. But yeah, I find it as I you know, as I write out my my, my notes for episodes every time I'm like, what are you grateful for? I'm like, Okay, take a moment for myself to think about what I'm grateful for. And sometimes it's big. Sometimes it's small. So, Lindsay, this was such a fun conversation. I'll link this in the description, but where can people find you if they'd love to follow you and learn more? Yeah, Lindsey Simcik 56:04 so you can find me on Instagram @lindseysimcik. Si, M C ik I haven't changed my handle to my new name. We'll see how that goes. Not sure. I Julia Landauer 56:13 haven't changed my name yet. So Lindsey Simcik 56:16 I might just keep it whatever. And then you can also find me on the almost 30 podcast almost30.com You can find almost 30 podcast anywhere you listen to pods, and then sacrednessofbeingsingle.com That's where you'll find a program or information there. But you're mostly on Instagram just hanging not on Tik Tok, you know, not there yet. But I appreciate you. I thank you so much for having me. I adore you. And this is such a natural fit for you to be hosted in a pod. Ridiculous. They are so fun and so smooth and yeah, so nice. I'm Julia Landauer 56:55 glad to hear that. So guys, that is our show. Thank you for letting me be honest with you, Lindsey. Thank you for being honest with us. And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it leave review, subscribe to the podcast share with a friend who would benefit from Lindsay's Winston wisdom, and I look forward to seeing you next week. Thank you again, Lindsay. You're welcome. Hi